I'm in another one of my feel sorry for me moments. But dammit, why can't anything be easy for me?
You know every blog or article I read on Melanoma is about tanning and tanning beds and the young. Well, I'm 43 and I have Melanoma and I don't tan! Yes, my youngest child is 18 but I still want to see her get married and I still want grand kids just like any other parent! Let me back up a little so maybe you'll understand my bad mood.
About 10 years ago I went to see a dermatologist for the first time. On my first visit he said I had rosacea and prescribed me some lotion and pills. He didn't look at any of my moles but I was scheduled to go back in two weeks and I assumed at that time he would check my moles. When I went back he said everything looked good with my rosacea and to continue using the lotion but not the pills and he would see me in 6 months. That shocked me since I was still waiting for my body check.
I said, "Wait a minute!". I told him he hadn't even looked at any of the moles on my body and I thought that is what a dermatologist is supposed to do?? I guess that made him mad because he said, "Fine, get undressed and I'll look you over." I said never mind because I didn't feel comfortable being undressed in front of him with the attitude that he had.
I went to the front desk to check out and she tried to give me a 6 month appointment but I told her no that I wouldn't be coming back. The doctor came up and told her that there was "no charge" for my visit today. A couple weeks later I got a letter in the mail dismissing me from the practice. Way to cover his butt huh?!
So now it's March 2012 and I go to a different dermatologist and I show him the mole on my butt cheek which he biopsied. A week later he brings me back to his office to tell me that it is malignant Melanoma. He sets me up with a surgeon and tells me once I get this taken care of he'll have me back and he'll do a thorough body scan - head to toe.
Cut to July 2012 and I'm back in his office for my "head to toe" check. Well, that is a joke. I had to force him to inspect my entire body - including the areas that my bra and panties usually cover. My son was also seen that day and I had to force him to go back in the room and do a complete body scan on my son even though he knew the mother - me - has stage 3b Melanoma!!
What is wrong with these doctor. How can you say you have given someone a complete visual body scan when you don't even have them take their bra or underwear off?!! Yes, you can get Melanoma on you butt - I did!!!!
Now on to my oncologist. I chose the oncologist that my dad has seen for the last 18 years through lung cancer and Melanoma but I find that I don't like him. One, I've seen him twice and he has not even touched me. The nurse is the only one who has felt my lymph nodes at all. He's not a Melanoma specialist - there aren't any in this area - but it disturbs me to talk to him about my cancer and treatment with Sylatron and see him googling for the information on his iphone in front of me. His practice can also do blood work at their facility which is great for those coming to the chemo suite and need blood work at that very moment before they can receive chemo.
However, for me that isn't a plus. If I have my blood work through Quest Diagnostics, which is my insurance carriers in network lab, I don't pay anything out of pocket but if I have blood work at the doctors office I have to pay a $45 copay every time. Since I give myself Sylatron injections once a week at home - there is no emergency for my blood work to be drawn and tested at their office. I can have my blood drawn at Quest and my oncologist would still have the results the next day. I know this because I had blood work drawn at Quest for my primary doctor a couple months ago on a Monday and saw my doctor Tuesday, the next day and they already had access to my blood work results.
So, I have told my oncologists office that I will not have any blood drawn at their facility due to the cost unless there is some type of emergency and they need it within minutes. I have also talked with my insurance company and was told that they can't force me to have my blood drawn at their facility. I also asked to have my care transferred to another oncologist who is part of the same group but practices out of an office that is a little closer to where I live. Gas is not cheap these days and besides it would be easier on me to not have to travel so far when I don't feel good, am running a fever and driving myself.
I think all that pissed off my oncologist. Yesterday evening I called CVS-Caremark to order my next month supply of Sylatron. They put in to have it delivered next Tuesday to make sure that it arrives in time for my Thursday dose next week.
I get a call this afternoon (4:55pm) from the nurse who said that the oncologist has denied my refill of Sylatron and said to tell me to have my "new" oncologist prescribe it and that I need to get into see him asap. That's just fine and dandy but they didn't go ahead and set me up a appointment with the new oncologist who is in the same practice! And tomorrow is Friday!! So now, I have to call tomorrow and see if they can get me in asap because until I see the doctor my Sylatron has been denied!!
Why can't I find these wonderful doctors that everyone else has?? I'm just so sick of it all. How can you be your own advocate when the doctors have all the power and if I try to stand up for myself too much they can dismiss me from the practice and then I would really be screwed because this practice is the ONLY oncology practice in my area!!
I wish I had someone to talk to....
