Shoulda Woulda Coulda...

So I've spent another day doing nothing but searching the Internet and feeling sorry for myself. Don't judge me. I have a right! I did wash the dogs today so at least I did one thing productive - 2 things since I have 2 dogs!


Mom fixed supper tonight and her cousin Evelyn and my brother Ryan ate with us. Watched Big Bang Theory - love that show, and now I'm back to Googling melanoma. I must be a masochist!!


I wanted to explain a little further how my melanoma journey began. I don't know exactly when but, sometime in January 2012 I noticed that a mole on my right butt cheek, that I've had for as long as I can remember, seemed different. I think the color was a little different and it was a little more raised. Before this it had always been brown and looked flat but I know if you ran your finger over it it was a little raised. Had always been like that. I vaguely thought that maybe I had irritated it somehow. I really didn't dwell on it too much but at some point on or before January 28, 2012 it must have started worrying me a little because I took a picture of it. However, after that I forgot about it again.


Then the last full weekend in February my sister, Wendy, was down from Orlando. By that time it had changed drastically. It now was very raised and seemed larger around. It was also pink and crusty/flaky/scaly looking. Sort of looked like a big irritated wart. I showed it to my sister and mentioned I was a little worried about it but hadn't made a dermatologist appointment yet. It was a local "holiday" weekend in town and we were busy having fun and she didn't really pay much attention when I showed her, just agreed I needed to get it checked. 


Sometime in the next week or so, I did make the appointment. I also took another picture March 17, 2012 - 12 days before I saw my dermatologist. Of course by then it was too late to catch it early. I played ostrich for about 2 months. It doesn't seem like that is a long time to some but that just goes to show how fast melanoma can pop up. It's a nasty little thing and sometimes it grows very very fast and other times very very slow. 


Pictures


These are the ones I took on or before January 28, 2012. 



This is the one that I took of the same mole on March 17, 2012:


If there's anything that I've learned it's- GO TO THE DOCTOR AS SOON AS YOU NOTICE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. If it makes you do a double take or go hmmm - then get it looked at!


Tootles!

Bummed...

So here I sit. Another day wasted. I've decided to not go back to work until next Monday. That gives my bum a little more time to heal. To be honest though, the real reason I'm not going back until Monday is because I'm in a funk right now. Feeling sorry for myself, worrying about the results of my SLNB. I'm so down right now that all I want to do is sit in this freakin' recliner and have a pity party of one (Me!) for myself.

My surgeon did write me a work note stating that I would need to be out for 4-6 weeks but I don't know how he came up with that time frame. If I really wanted to, I could manage going back to work today with little to no problem. I just don't want to. I like feeling sorry for myself right now. I know, I know, it's awful of me isn't it? I know it will do me good to get back to work and I need the paycheck so I will force myself, but NOT until Monday.

I did go with my mom and daughter to Lehigh to visit my brother 'n law who is in the hospital. He's diabetic and also has gout in his knee - he's the same age as I am. On Sunday he was running a fever and his knee was swollen. He doesn't have health insurance so he went to the emergency room and they admitted him. He's hoping he will be out tomorrow. I'm praying for him. He doesn't take his insulin or his gout medication because he can't afford to buy it. His sugar was around 500 on Sunday evening before he went to the hospital. It sucks when you have no insurance. I checked online and was able to find patient assistance programs for each of his medications and I think he would qualify for the programs. Once he's out of the hospital, I'll help him complete the applications so that he can take them to his doctor.

We also stopped at Wal Mart while over there. My daughter, Hadley, needed some make-up and a new flat iron. We also had her finger sized for a class ring at the jewelry department and will order her ring online thru Wal Mart since it is so much cheaper than ordering thru the school's link. She is going to Universal Studios this weekend for Grad Bash and looking forward to it. She graduates June 2nd. She's my youngest. Time sure does fly!

So it begins

I know it sounds morbid but I've always known I would get cancer. I wasn't 100% sure what type but, I knew. Thursday, April 5, 2012 I was diagnosed with melanoma. I am 43 years old. I have 3 beautiful children. Cody 24, Dustin 22 and my daughter Hadley 18. Hadley is a senior in high school and graduates June 2, 2012.

Thickness: At least 2.6mm
Growth Phase: Vertical
Ulceration: Present
Mitotic Rate: 5/mm2
Angiolymphatic Invasion: Not Identified
Features of Regression: Not Identified
Lymphocytic Host Response: Non-Brisk
Pathologic Stage: T3b
Clark's Level: IV

So it began. 

In 1994 my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was 46 years old. I was 25 years old. Until then I had never thought of my dad as old. He changed before my eyes after that diagnosis. 

My dad had been a smoker since he was about 13 years old. At the time of his lung cancer diagnosis he was a 2 pack a day smoker. He quit the day he was diagnosed. You might say he closed the barn door a little too late but it's never too late to stop smoking. 

He went through chemo and radiation to shrink the tumor and then surgery to remove it.  Part of his left lung and a couple ribs were removed and then more radiation and chemotherapy after surgery. He was cancer free for 16 years.

So it began, again. 

In 2009 my dad was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. It was found on his left side under his armpit. It was in the area that he had radiation 16 years ago. Was it caused by the radiation? Maybe, maybe not. My dad had been seeing a dermatologist for years but even with his previous cancer diagnosis, the doctor had never done a full body scan.

He went through surgery to remove the melanoma and also had a SLNB. The SLNB showed that there was a 1% trace of cancer cells in the lymph node. He underwent surgery again to remove all the lymph nodes under his armpit. After that he started interferon treatments. He finished treatments October 2011 and is NED at this time.

Removal of lymph nodes

Removal of lymph nodes

Removal of lymph nodes - hole where the drain was inserted. Also the healed scar that starts in the top middle of his back and runs under his new surgery is the incision from his lung cancer surgery in 1994.

Under arm is the original site of the SLNB

So it begins.

I think it was sometime in January 2012 that I noticed the mole on my right buttock seemed different. I ignored it. I remember the last full weekend my sister was visiting. I mentioned to her that I had a mole on my butt cheek that I needed to have checked out. By then it was definitely looking strange. I showed it to her. She agreed and then we forgot about it. 

By March I couldn't ignore it any longer. It had changed from brown to red and was raised and scaly. It looked like a wart that had been irritated. I made an appointment with the dermatologist for Thursday, March 29, 2012. I hadn't seen him in 2 years. My doctor looked at it and said, eww! He thought it looked like an infected wart also. I assured him though that a mole is what it had been. A biopsy was done. I was told that I would get a call the following week with the results. 

While at home for lunch on Thursday, April 5, 2012, I received a call from the dermatologist office. They wanted me to come in that day. I was told any time I could get there would be fine. I'm not stupid. I knew it wasn't good news. Thankfully my mom happened to be in town. She went with me. It was probably harder on her because of everything she has been through with my dad. The research on Melanoma I'm just beginning, she's been doing for 2 years.

The doctor wanted me to see the surgeon ASAP. They called but the earliest I could be seen was the following Thursday, April 12, 2012. They were out of the office the next day because it was Good Friday and then also out Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday the following week. My mom was freaking out because of me having to wait another week to be seen but there was nothing more that could be done. 

I saw the surgeon Thursday, April 12, 2012. He is the same surgeon that my dad sees. Blood work, ekg and chest x-rays were done that same day. Surgery to remove the melanoma and SLNB was scheduled for Tuesday, April 17, 2012. 

I am also a type 2 diabetic and I haven't had my sugar under control over the past year. That is not a good thing when having surgery. Uncontrolled sugar can impede healing and cause a host of other problems. I had also been out of one of my diabetic pills for at least 6 months. On Friday, April 13, 2012 I met with a new family doctor to get my meds back on track. My previous doctor had went on  a medical leave a year before and never returned. I'm a procrastinator and had never gotten around to getting hooked up with another doctor. Diabetes is easy to ignore when it's not showing any outward signs. 

The day of surgery we had to arrive at 7:00 a.m. for the SLNB and surgery was scheduled for 9:30 a.m. Even though I prick my finger to test my blood sugar and I inject insulin in my belly, I am NOT a fan of needles. I was stressed about the lymph biopsy and I had fear of being put to sleep. I had never had any surgery or been put to sleep. I am a nervous nelly with doctors. I take a valium before dental cleanings! 

The SLNB went alot better than I expected. The first injection was the worse. It felt like a bee sting but only last for a few seconds. After that I really didn't feel too much. I know the injections were laced with lidocaine also. Once the injections were done, all I had to do was lie very still while the pictures were taken. I closed my eyes and concentrated on relaxing. 

Once that was done, we went down to check in for surgery and wait. Of course they were running behind. What doctor isn't. :-) I didn't mind. My husband, Tom, my parents, brother and one of my sisters were there with me. I have a great family. 

I was finally called back and that is when my panic really started. I was not worried about the actual surgery. I trusted the surgeon. He's the best melanoma surgeon in my area and a wonderful christian. I was worried about the anesthesia. My big fear has always been that they will do something wrong, or I might be allergic to the meds, or they might not give me enough meds and I will feel everything but not be able to tell them. I remember them putting the mask over my face and telling me it was just oxygen to help me relax. The next thing I remember is waking up with a headache and a pain in my ARSE!

The surgeon said it all went well. He didn't see any signs of cancer or spreading with the naked eye. Now we wait. It will take about 2 weeks for the results to come back. Two days after surgery I went for my 1st post-op visit. The incision in my groin and the one on my butt looked fine. I go back again for follow-up in 2 weeks and the results will be in by then also. 

Now I'm home trying to get comfortable. Having an approx. 8-10 inch cut sutured on your butt cheek does not make it easy to sit. I've spent most of my time since surgery leaning or lying on my left side so much that my hip on that side hurts. 

Adding a few pictures. Because of the area that my melanoma was located, it's not easy to take pictures that aren't compromising.

SLNB - Right Groin

Radical Resection - Right Buttock